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| Help me that I may not cause pain to any of my brothers in men's ministry, my fellow peers, but especially to my younger brothers
by disrespecting their life-long or good friendships that they have forged with friends of the opposite gender.
But if I ever knowingly break their good friendships apart so that their girl friends can be close to me..and never feel even the need to ask for their blessings, or apologize when I haven't or even feel the need to console my brothers for my selfishness.... than I ask you guys to make me
pay for it dearly, because I deserve to be considered dishonorable to the brothers I have once claimed to have led.ridicule me and call me all the nastiest names. Shun
me and take away any respect I have. Turn my friends against me for they deserve better than this garbage.
It is my desire to help protect my brother's hearts above my own.. and I know respect can go a long way, but so can disrespect. And to have that hate in the hearts of my fellow brothers is not something I can bear. Pray I will never even consider stooping so low as to disrespect much less have no self-desire to apologize. But if I ever become so pathetic, please stop me and don't support me while I continue to live it down or God so help me I could not bear to look a brother in the face and be called a worthy man, servant ,or leader without shame. It is my desire to help protect my brother's hearts above my own. This is my pledge but also my testimony to you guys.
dear brothers, without this love or desire for your fellow brothers, there is no hope for a ministry or leadership among men.
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| This week, i lost my composure.
it was intresting to see me like that.. how one could be without the peace of God.
and yet, peace is all we can hold onto when everything else falls astray.
From now on in the face of losing close friends, i will be more at peace ..if can't for myself, than at least for them.
and pray for me to understand once and for all that to fully rely on God is all I can do
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| today has been a down cast day. While embracing my new friends I really missed out on my old school friends, church friends, best childhood friends. The best of friends would give one space to be happy with others. This is true. But, I don't think the best of friends would ever have asked for space to be with others. I have found out that nobody not even the most loving friends, deserve to be used when there is need and then favored over, for others, when there isn't need. But you know what's even more sad than that? they don't even realize on their own,that they could be cared for more ..until they are shown otherwise There is a possibility that some of the best friends I've had in my childhood..will never even have the want to talk to me again.. possibly because they have found others, or have moved on. anyways that just dawned on me today and that's just how i'm feeling today. Maybe one day when there is nothing left, God will amaze yet and hopefully days like these will be less. Though sometimes it feels like God is the only one left from your childhood that does find worth in you, it feels sort of comforting to know that His value of you is the only one that matters now. | | |
| Hi, I would just like to address something.
When I say I really don't like girls.. it honestly means .. that I have no interest in being more than friends right now.
The ONE girl that I found myself able to like was the friend i was close to for 8-9 years. That took me years to develop and sustain any feelings for her.
the girl that I want to like is the girl that I want to have the same kind of trusting friendship that I had with my friend.. a friendship that was filled with care and a friendship that puts the other over your ownself. It was NOT based on looks NOT based on image, NOT based on what is cool or popular, nor was it filled with selfish intentions.
because that's the best friendships you'll ever have.. and out of those few, I would choose one of those type of friends to even think about liking.
right now, it seems NO one else has come close to that relationship nor do I think it will for awhile. Not to say I haven't started developing other friendships like that, but right now, nothing is close to what i developed with her before she left.
so please. do not question my intentions with a girl just because I ask someone i'm not that close to , to a dance. I asked because all my guy friends were going. I asked because it was cheaper to go with two people and also so I could finally wear my tatoo with my guy friends : D. I asked because I didn't know her well, but since she has shown intrest in getting to know me better and wanted to visit a&m, I thought this would be the best time to and the best reason to do so. Do not even think that I have reasons that are more than friendship, or if it's to show her off just because "she's pretty" or if it's because i want to take her away from someone else.
I found it so surprising that people would suggest that I care about showing her off as a trophy.. or that I was a known "homewrecker" and that I try to take girls away from other guys.. but then, I guess those assumptions reflect your hearts, not mine.
And I always think my close friends are prettier than people I don't know. Personality and a relationship of substance dictates that for me. but I guess it doesn't for some of you. please. Also , if i LIKED You i would tell you. just because I show care does not mean i do. I care for all my close friends. I would have thought my close friends would have known that by now. please get a clue as to who I am. If you care enough to judge, you are supposed to care enough to know who you are judging .
i beg you to keep your conservative nature or "ways you think others deceive others", or your careful public image, or intentions to your own self... even your own standards to yourself. don't hold them for me. If i had intentions, i'd say it.
no more drama. please
bad that you judge a guilty person.. worse that you judge an innocent.
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| The following topic maybe sort of controversial and polarizing but, it
is with a purpose. It is pretty serious but can be challenging.
if you are an open minded God seeking christian with something
constructive to say, please let me know what you think. Input would be
wonderful as I always try to seek to learn what I can not by my own.
f you are an ignorant close minded judgmental Christian friend and have
nothing constructive to say, please proceed to the hole that you
crawled out of so that there might be a remote chance that you won't
touch other people's lives and influence them to become like you. I
know.. i maybe harsh and I really hate judging people even though
sometimes I catch myself doing it.. but i'm so passionate about this
that if I had to judge , than the people I would judge first and
foremost would be people that don't even give this a chance and have
already judged.
I respect those who have differing opinions but i do not respect people like that.
anywyas, here it goes:
Had you asked me two years ago, I would have wrenched at the thought of
becoming pro-choice. And yet, as I begun to understand the character of
God, it led me to search for a more complete truth than from my own
understanding. I do not claim to know the entire truth or even remote
truth, but I do want to express how I've grown to the truth I have now.
The reason why I believe in a choice is simply because of the choice
God gave us. And this pertains to every decision we make in life. Every
single choice ,not just the easy choices , but also the hard are all
given to us. A God given choice is a choice that we must preserve as
well as life itself. In all instances, I would love to choose life, but
in all instances that is the choice that I ,alone, made. A baby's life
is tied to the mother, it has no right of it's own and the mother is
responsible for it. It can not say whether or not it wants life and so
that choice becomes the mother's responsibility as it was the mother
who it was initially given to.
In the bible, Solomon gave a choice to the women responsible for the
baby they were fighting over. (Make note that the servant of God did
not give it to the baby). This particular choice was whether he should
cut it in half ( and kill it) and give it to both mothers or to
preserve it's life and give it over to one of the mothers. One mother
chose life, one mother chose death. But a choice was made and a choice
was given.
A tree was given for us, A tree of life or tree of knowledge. One would
lead to eternal life, one would lead to eternal death. Yet the tree was
presented to us.
in fact, so far, I believe so strongly in preserving the God given
choice for us, that I think there is a possibility that anything
otherwise would be contrary to the gift of God. How can we say we
accept the choice that God gave us but then actively take it away from
others that probably need that particular testimony more? Should we
judge if our friend chooses to drink and smoke? Should we feel like we
know better if they choose to go party a lot or have sex? If they make
the "wrong" choice, let them learn, but it is a choice they should
have. It is a lesson they may need. But it is not a judgment we have
the right to make.
So if you disagree dear christian friends, please let me know.. and
maybe we can talk and you can help me understand better, or I can help
you understand better.
But most importantly, I want my non-christian friends, and my
struggling/growing christian friends, who are so dear to me now and
more than ever, to know this.
I pray that you know that you will always have a choice for every
decision that you make. A choice of whether to do right or wrong, a
choice of whether to hurt or help. We are all judged when we die, but
you will not be judged by Him for your choices, while you live. You
will be loved and accepted maybe even more so than we are.
Yes, a choice between a baby's life and death is very important and
should be held with high priority but at the end of each day, you will
have a more crucial choice. And that is a decision of whether or not to
love and choose Him. That choice will be the most precious gift that
you will ever be given.
Don't let any of us ever take that gift away.
hope this helps you understand where i'm coming from at this moment of
my life. if you think i'm fundamentally wrong and you are my friend , i
hope you still choose to care for me.. if not, there is that hole ya
kno? it's kinda comfy and easy to be in.
I chose to be pro choice because I had a choice. what you think about
me after this can determine the kind of person you are too. | | |
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